Finding your way back to joy, spontaneity and aliveness.
“No matter how withdrawn and isolated we have become or how serious the trauma we experienced, on the deepest level, just as a plant spontaneously moves toward sunlight, there is in each of us an impulse moving toward connection, health and aliveness. This organismic impulse is the fuel of NARM.”
— Laurence Heller, creator of the Neuro-Affective Relational Model
At the foundation of my practice lies the NeuroAffective Relational Model® (NARM), an advanced clinical approach developed particularly to address the consequences of attachment, relational, developmental and complex trauma (C-PTSD). These types of trauma often stem from prolonged exposure to adverse childhood experiences, chronic neglect, misattunement, as well as emotional and physical abuse. Additionally, they may have roots in pre- and perinatal experiences, as well as systemic, cultural and intergenerational dynamics.
Complementing NARM, I also integrate Somatic Experiencing® in my work. This approach is particularly effective in addressing single-time traumatic experiences with clear beginnings and ends, such as car accidents, falls, unescapable attacks, medical procedures, and more.
Explore further below the distinctive elements of the NARM® approach and how it contributes to fostering health and post-traumatic growth.
My approach
NARM at a glance
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When therapy focuses on deficiency, pain, and dysfunction, clients become skilled at orienting toward deficiency, pain, and dysfunction. But the reality is that despite the challenges and adversity we all faced in our lives, we survived. So alongside trauma adaptations, we also carry significant resources and capacitiess that we may or may not be aware of.
NARM is not a goal-oriented approach, but an inquiry-based, depth-oriented, relational model that invites the therapist and the client to bring curiosity to the obstacles that might be preventing them from accessing their spontaneous impulses towards connection, health, and aliveness.
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In NARM, there's no need for exhaustive 'archaeological digging' into the client’s life's history. What's relevant from the past and we carry forward in the present will naturally surface during our sessions. This approach eliminates the need for lengthy recounts of our entire life story. Instead, we'll embark on a joint curiosity journey, exploring what unfolds moment by moment in the relational field between us.
In NARM we explore personal history to the degree that patterns from the past interfere with being present and in contact with self and others in the here-and-now.
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NARM is a non-pathologizing approach, which respects and honors the adaptive strategies we developed in response to attachment, relational or developmental trauma. Rather than focusing on behavioral changes and symptoms' extinction, NARM encourages curiosity about the underlying drivers of our behaviors and the messages that our symptoms may be trying to communicate.
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Many forms of therapy tend to emphasize and focus on one of these dimensions, which often limits the effectiveness of the process. For example, as helpful as it may be to get a new insight, to rationally understand what's driving a certain reaction and to cognitively reframe a certain belief, that alone is unlikely to enable long term change.
By working simultaneously bottom-up (i.e. with cognitions and emotions) and top-down (with somatic reactions, the felt sense, and instinctive responses), NARM supports the possibility of deeper, embodied shifts in how we relate to ourselves and others.
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NARM supports the possibility of reconnecting to who we truly are beyond the learned adaptive behaviors, strategies, and identifications that emerged in response to early life adversities.
As dr. Laurence Heller -the creator of NARM- beautifully says, ‘no matter how withdrawn and isolated we have become, or how serious the trauma we have experienced, on the deepest level, just as a plant spontaneously moves towards the sun, there is in each of us an impulse moving toward connection, health and aliveness. This organismic impulse is the fuel of the NARM approach.'
What can we explore in a NARM session?
NARM's applications encompass a broad range of challenges, including those related to negative self-image, relational difficulties, and emotional dysregulation. While the list below is not exhaustive, it provides a glimpse into the various aspects we can address in NARM sessions.
Negative self-image
Feeling undeserving, unworthy, or inadequate in some ways
Struggling with low self-confidence, self-doubt, perfectionism or very high standards
Tendencies to overwork or burn yourself out
Constantly comparing yourself to others
Persistent patterns of self-shame, guilt, or self-blame
Difficulty accepting compliments or positive feedback
Fear of failure and avoidance of new challenges
Associating personal value with external achievements (e.g. money, status, etc.)
Feeling inadequate in social situations and avoiding them due to fear of rejection
Assuming that others are always evaluating, judging or criticizing you
Feeling like a burden to others
Experiencing obsessive thoughts about perceived physical appearance flaws
Relational challenges
Difficulties in expressing yourself authentically
Difficulties in setting healthy boundaries and saying no without guilt or fear
Feeling you can't rely on anyone else
Feeling disconnected from yourself/others
Difficulties in establishing and maintaining stable, fulfilling relationships
Difficulties committing to relationships or projects and following through
Fear of being vulnerable or opening your heart in relationships
Tendency to be overly independent in relationships, hindering the development of intimacy and healthy interdependence
Struggling to receive love and care
Engaging in patterns of isolation or withdrawal
Sacrificing your own needs and desires to avoid conflict or maintain relationships
Finding it challenging to trust others and delegate
Difficulty in giving and receiving feedback
Self-regulation difficulties
Feeling anxious or hypervigilant, always scanning for potential threats around you
Sensitivity to external feedback
Significant difficulty in tolerating children’s sadness, anger, helplessness or vitality
Feeling emotionally overwhelmed in response to seemingly minor stressors
Engaging in compulsive / addictive behaviors such as consuming excessive amounts of sugar, substances, porn, etc.
Obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviours (cleaning, disinfecting, etc.)
Excessive need to control yourself, others or the environment around you
Anger outbursts or prolonged irritability
Experiencing intense feelings of emptiness or numbness
Difficulty in calming down after experiencing heightened emotional states
Tendency to dissociate or disconnect from emotions as a coping mechanism
Difficulty in living in the present moment, tolerating pleasure, joy, or aliveness
Book a free discovery session.
A free, 15-minute discovery call to discuss your needs and determine whether I can effectively support you.